It’s HOW many days until Christmas??!

Look, we don’t want to alarm you… but…. There’s only 14 Saturdays until Christmas.

Yep. Sorry about that.

We know exactly what it’s like. The kids have a list bigger than the eyeroll you give your boss. Sure, they’re probably not going to get everything they want, but at least it gives you some idea of where to start.

Now you’re picturing it. Remembering what it’s like each year.

For whatever reason, every deranged person who somehow is usually not at the shops when you are, suddenly rears their dishevelled head every damn time you’re at Westfield.

People are throwing elbows and ‘shatterproof’ baubles in Kmart.

Lily’s mum fractured her skull that one time, but it was worth it because she got the last Hatchimal on the shelf. Sure, the reconstructive surgery wasn’t ideal, but at least she got a break from the kids.

Suddenly, nobody knows how to drive, giving way becomes more of a ‘suggestion’, and people WITHOUT PRAMS ARE PARKING IN THE PRAM SPOT.

The mall Santa looks like he spent the night in the gutter, and they want approximately $798, 7 oxen, a bridge troll and the blood of a unicorn in exchange for one measly photo print. The line is full of people you just know have lice, and it’s about 68 kms long.

Not only that, your husband is pulling overtime to keep up with the silly season workload, and nobody wants to babysit your kids after that ‘camel’ incident. That means you have to fight with them in the shops, while trying to secretly shop FOR them.

“What? These? No. They’re not for you. I know it’s weird that these are all the exact items you had on your list, but they’re definitely not for you. That’s crazy. Santa brings your presents. Obviously. These are for….Daddy. He just really had his eye on a skull skateboard and a Barbie helmet, not to mention a colour changing LOL doll.”

Then comes the worst of it.

After it’s all over red rover, you’re left with a house full of plastic, toxic, junk.

The kids spend approximately 7.543 seconds playing with their new toys, then the toys sit there, collecting dust and cockroach eggs, inevitably waiting to be taken to the charity shop or the tip.

Instead of trying to dodge elbows at Big W by buying harmful junk, you can buy now and wrap later with No Nasties Kids and our huge range of fab-ola gifts!

You don’t have to find a parking space.